How To Avoid Common Regrets In Life

This article draws from thousands of real-life stories as well as beloved non-fiction works to reveal the most common regrets in life. Understanding these regrets can be enlightening, not just to prevent repeating the same mistakes, but also to remind us that we are not alone.

Answer the Phone

We often find ourselves longing for just one more talk with friends or family who left us too soon. These losses hit hard, reminding us of what really matters. A study called Social Relationships and Mortality Risk shows that strong bonds don't just make life better; they help us live longer. On the other hand, being lonely or having weak connections can cut our lives by the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

A friend invited for a New Year's party but died in a car accident after. I regret not responding to the Facebook message.

Ignored a call from a friend I had a recent argument with, who then committed suicide.

I regret not calling my girlfriend before she suddenly died from a heart attack after a family vacation at Disney World.

Because the rhythm of conversation makes no allowance for dead periods, because the presence of others calls for continuous responses, we are left to regret the inanity of what we say, and the missed opportunity of what we do not.

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Between friends and family, the simplest acts of connection make a big difference. But when it comes to forming new bonds, more effort is often needed.

Talk To Them

A study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships tells us people regret missed romantic chances more than rejection. Whether it's sharing your feelings or reaching out to someone who matters, taking that step can keep you from a lifetime of wondering "what if."

I distanced myself from my best friend because I wrongly believed she had better friends and didn't need me, but now I see she does.

I regret not taking the opportunity to ask out a woman I was interested in when she felt the same way.

I didn't have the courage to confess my love to my best friend. He passed away ten years later, and I will never know if he felt the same way.

Taking the first step might feel awkward, but literally nothing in life happens if someone doesn’t make the first move. You lose nothing by offering a casual invite for coffee or a drink. Moving from the app to texting makes this much easier. If they say no, that’s fine. At least you know.

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Building strong relationships doesn't end with loved ones. Every day, our interactions with others hold the potential to shape our lives and theirs in meaningful ways. A word here, a gesture there — these small acts matter.

Be Kind To Strangers

A study published in the Journal of Social Psychology found that performing acts of kindness boosts happiness and well-being. Small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect that benefits everyone involved. Never underestimate the power of a kind gesture.

I regret not being kinder to loners and outcasts.

I was part of a close-knit Girl Scout troop that merged with another, and though I initially had doubts about a reserved girl in the new group, I now regret not being kinder to her. Tragically, she passed away shortly after.

I regret not sharing my sandwich with a homeless person.

I like how Mother Teresa put it: "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile." If you approach life this way, always looking for ways to build instead of to tear down, you'll be amazed at how much happiness you can give to others and find for yourself.

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Just as we show kindness to strangers, honoring our closest relationships requires consistent effort and loyalty.

Be Loyal

A Harvard Study of Adult Development, spanning over 80 years, reveals that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what truly keep people happy throughout their lives. Loyalty to loved ones forms the bedrock of a fulfilling life. Consistency in love and support is a choice you'll never regret.

I have regret from breaking up with someone in hopes of finding better, only to realize over time that you won't find better.

Betraying the person who loved me most during her hardest times is a haunting feeling, witnessing her world fall apart and being unable to undo it.

I used a girl in college for casual sex while intoxicated on weekends, being clear about not wanting a committed relationship. Despite her agreement, she hoped for more. I regret treating her poorly.

In fact, he argued, human beings need loyalty. It does not necessarily produce happiness, and can even be painful, but we all require devotion to something more than ourselves for our lives to be endurable. Without it, we have only our desires to guide us, and they are fleeting, capricious, and insatiable. They provide, ultimately, only torment.

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While maintaining strong relationships is essential, it's equally important to ensure that we care for our mental well-being.

Prioritize Your Mental Health

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one in five adults in the U.S. live with a mental illness, yet many do not seek help. Addressing mental health issues early can significantly enhance quality of life and minimize the regrets associated with missed opportunities during times of struggle.

I regret not addressing my depression sooner and missing out on experiences due to neglect.

I wish I had started therapy earlier in high school instead of waiting until college when I was very unhappy.

Suffering from depression and wasting years due to laziness and lack of action. Regretting lost time.

Freud proposed that anxiety was "a riddle whose solution would be bound to throw a flood of light on our whole mental existence." Unlocking the mysteries of anxiety, he believed, would go far in helping us to unravel the mysteries of the mind: consciousness, the self, identity, intellect, imagination, creativity - not to mention pain, suffering, hope, and regret. To grapple with and understand anxiety is, in some sense, to grapple with and understand the human condition.

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The resilience and clarity that come from a sound mind open doors to a richer life.

Do Not Be Too Careful

According to a LinkedIn survey, nearly 50% of professionals believe that not taking career risks ranks among their biggest regrets. Seize the chance to grow and experience life to its fullest by taking calculated risks.

I regret not taking enough risks and being overly cautious. Constantly concerned about others' opinions and approval.

I wish I had taken more risks to develop my skills earlier in my career.

I may be too afraid to bungee jump or skydive as I age.

So we say, “Maybe it’s safer to just stay here. Even if it’s not true enough, maybe it’s good enough.” But good enough is what makes people drink too much and snark too much and become bitter and sick and live in quiet desperation until they lie on their deathbed and wonder: What kind of life/relationship/family/world might I have created if I’d been braver?

Untamed

Just as taking risks is vital, so is following your passion, which often requires stepping out of your comfort zone.

Follow Your Passions

Research by psychologist Angela Duckworth reveals that "grit"—a blend of passion and perseverance—is a key predictor of success and satisfaction across various fields. Pursuing what you love brings deep fulfillment and eradicates the regret of "what could have been." Don't let societal pressures steer you away from your passions.

I used to excel in music and dance but stopped pursuing it after high school exams, leaving me feeling regretful.

My main regret is not dedicating more time to my theater activities during high school, as it was the source of my happiness at that time.

I regret neglecting my creative pursuits like writing and playing the piano since starting my corporate job 20 years ago. I no longer feel passionate about them and it feels forced when I try to engage in them now. I feel like I've lost a part of myself.

Ultimately, the people who choose to champion originality are the ones who propel us forward. After spending years studying them and interacting with them, I am struck that their inner experiences are not any different from our own. They feel the same fear, the same doubt, as the rest of us. What sets them apart is that they take action anyway. They know in their hearts that failing would yield less regret than failing to try.

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While pursuing your dreams is essential, it's equally important to maintain a healthy work-life balance to minimize potential regrets.

Balance Work and Life

A report by the International Labour Organization (ILO) says 36% of employees worldwide work more than 48 hours a week. Long hours lead to stress, lack of sleep, and other health problems. Overworking steals precious time with loved ones and robs you of personal fulfillment. Don’t sacrifice too much of your joy for professional success.

I prioritized my career and stability while my friends focused on getting married and starting families. Now they have families, I just have stability.

I worked long hours for many years and now I'm 54, single, childless, and friendless, but I believe it's due to my own choices rather than my work schedule.

Prioritizing my grades over social activities has not been worthwhile in my career.

The most successful people invest in their friends, peers, and family members to propel themselves forward.

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Alongside work-life balance, securing your financial future with smart planning can help you avoid significant regrets later in life.

Practice Financial Foresight

Nearly half of Americans feel they lack enough retirement savings according to The Employee Benefit Research Institute (EBRI). Early, thoughtful planning can lead to a less stressful future. Avoid financial regrets—save, invest, plan.

I wish I had started saving for retirement sooner, but I believe I can still retire before the age of 60.

I regret taking out loans for my degrees as it wasn't worth it. I've been miserable working dead-end jobs since graduating.

Regret not investing in Microsoft stock in the 90s when my broker thought computers were not going to be popular.

Your relationship with money can be a place where you bring your strengths and skills, your highest aspirations, and your deepest and most profound qualities. Whether we are millionaires or “dollar heirs,” we can actually be great with our money and be great in our relationship with it.

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Understand that regrets are a universal experience. Let them guide you towards a better life as you focus on proactive steps to avoid future regrets.

Moving On

Chances are that you are not alone in whatever you regret in life. It's important to learn from these regrets and also to avoid becoming mired in past missteps.

I have no regrets because my past experiences shaped me.

Rather than dwell on regrets of the past, focus on learning and growing from the experiences, both good and bad, that have shaped you. Embrace who you are and strive to be better.

Don't regret the past; be thankful for all of it.

Every event has a purpose and every setback its lesson. I have realized that failure, whether of the personal, professional or even spiritual kind, is essential to personal expansion. It brings inner growth and a whole host of psychic rewards. Never regret your past. Rather, embrace it as the teacher that it is.

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